How is this possible?

I woke up this morning in a great mood and full of anticipation. Weigh day. It's the day where I get to see all the results of my hard work and discipline. All of the 1800 calorie days, all of the walking, the ball playing, all of it to culminate at this very critical point. As you know, this was the first weigh day I have had since starting this three weeks ago. I weighed two weeks ago at 464 pounds. I am trying for 1 pound a day, which is very optimistic, but that's the goal. I've done all of the math, and have figured out what I need to do to lose it, and I have had a couple of days where I haven't been as strong as I should have been. But I have seen a lot of results. My ring is sliding off my finger, my clothes aren't fitting as tight as they used too, I have a chestbone (yesssssss! lol), I am jogging, so I know there are things that are moving in the right direction. With that being said, I was really looking to be 10 pounds lighter this week.

I went through my usual routine this morning of showering and getting dressed. I put on one of my shirts, which was looser than it was the last time I wore it, so I was really getting excited. I put on an old pair of blue jeans that I hadn't wore in a while. I put on my belt, which is really for looks now because I can't get it tight enough to hold me jeans up anymore. I put on my boots and laced them up to the top, which is awesome. My legs used to be so big that I couldn't lace boots up completely, so I would leave the higher parts of the boot, where my ankle is, unlaced. It was going to be a good day. I walked out of the house feeling lighter than ever, knowing I was going to conquer this day.

I went in to work and got everything started up for the day. Things were going smoothly. I went to lunch and visited the doctor's office to weigh in. I walked through the ice covered parking lot with ease. There used to be a time where I would freak out about walking on ice. A big guy like me has very bad balance. But I walked across the ice confidently, slipping occasionally but catching myself every time. "I couldn't do that a couple of weeks ago," I thought as I opened the door to the office. I knew this would be awesome.

I walked in and greeted the receptionist as I always do. I asked her if I could just walk on back and weigh, and she had no problem  with that. I walked to the back and hopped on the scale, excited and ready to see the results. The numbers blanked out then flashed up to reveal...465. 465. I had gained a pound.

What? What? How could this have happened? This was mathematically impossible. I had cut my calorie intake down. That alone should have resulted in some weight loss. Even my bad days weren't that bad. I never went over 2500 calories. And then, all of the exercise I have been getting. I mean, miles walked, miles run, hours of ball playing. I had increased my activity. That should have resulted in weight loss, too. But combine the two, and I should have lost something. But no, I had gained a pound. I was crushed. I walked back to my van and drove off. The first thing I did was call Pam.
"You're not going to believe this."
"What"
"I just left the doctor's office"
"Mhm, and how'd you do?"
"I gained a pound."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I don't get it. How is this possible?"
"Are you wearing anything different? Your coat?"
"Nope, well, my boots, but they can't weigh that much."
"We'll weigh them and see later."
"No, I still have a little time for lunch break, I'm coming by now."

I had to have answers. I had to know what went wrong. I had to, well, try something. So I went home real quick and weighed the boots. We figured they weigh 3.5 pounds. My shoes weigh one pound. So, doing the math, I have lost 1.5 pounds. Two weeks of work, 1.5 pounds. .1 pound a day. 1/10 of what I had hoped. I am disappointed, upset, angry, aggravated, and a whole lot of things. Above all, though, I am frustrated. I am frustrated at the fact that I have worked hard in hopes of some real concrete change. I am a numbers guy, numbers equal results, and I didn't get that. I am frustrated at the fact that I am actually doing this the right way for once. Sure, there are easier ways to do this, weight watchers, slim fast, pills, and stuff like that. And I know for a fact that these things work because I have done them before. But to actually eat healthy, to exercise, and to live a better lifestyle and see this happen is very frustrating.

I appreciate all the kind words everyone has said that has already heard about this. I know that muscle weighs more than fat and everything I have been doing has added muscle. I know that I have lost inches and those should be considered victory, too. People have seen me and have said that they can tell I am losing, and I feel better, and I am getting around better. All of these things are good, and these are things that are going to keep me going strong. It is a bit disheartening, though. Down 1.5 pounds. Let's hope it's a start to many more!