A Letter to My Fellow Gym Members

I need to vent, so here it goes...

To All the Members of the Gym,

I need to get a few things straight with all of you. First of all, I know I don't belong here. You all live in a part of town that I have no business being in, you pay ridiculous amounts of money to attend here, and you spend an obscene amount of time working out. I am none of these things. I am a middle class, working guy who makes a decent wage, but that is spent supporting my wife and kids, who I would much rather be around than you people. The only reason why I come here is so that I can extend and enjoy the amount of time I have here with them. I also got a free pass from a very good friend of mine.

I feel your glances and believe me, I understand. I have my reservations about getting on certain pieces of equipment and doing exercises that will probably end up with my fat butt on the floor. But hey, I do it anyway. I don't look as majestic as the woman on the stair stepper. Every time I see you, I wonder if you will ever get tired of that machine. But there you are, perched like a hawk and watching every thing that happens in the field of machines. I can't multi-task like the cyclist. I think I have escaped your notice, and rightly so. You are too busy reading, listening to your ipod, and cycling at ridiculous speeds to pass judgement on me. I have caught you glancing, Mr. Marathon. I was a fan of yours when I saw the "26.2" sticker on the back of your car. I even got next to you on the elliptical one day hoping to strike up a conversation. You weren't on there five minutes and got off and moved on to another part of the gym. Guess I need extra deodorant. Oh, and who can forget the wolfpack. The muscle head frat boys that hang out over at the weight machines, a part of the gym that I rarely get to see. I see you guys come in and out and I know you see me. You don't have to say anything, the eyes say it all. But I bet I have more kids than you, so bite me.

And speaking of kids, I would like to address a trio of teens who, while waiting for their mommy to pick them up, took time to look up and get a good laugh at my expense. How did I know that you were laughing at me? The pointing and laughing pretty much covered it. I have dealt with jerks like you all of my life. I grew up being the fat kid and getting teased from kids my entire childhood. I still get made fun of by my kids' friends. I am used to it. But you guys were the straw that broke the camel's back tonight. I have had enough. By the way, I have seen you guys shoot ball, and you have no room to laugh. Your jump shots are a joke and I know I could shoot your lights out any night.

I digress...I have had enough though. Let me reinforce the fact that I know I don't belong here. I am not trying to belong. I don't want to be anything like any of you. I just want to look like you. I want to lose this weight, get healthy, look good, and praise God that He was the one responsible for providing the opportunity to do it. And I am thanking Him for each of you today. I have been praying that He would give me some motivation to lose weight and exercise more, and I have found it today. To show each and everyone of you that I can do it, that God is good and He will be the one that helps me do it, and to learn how to do this thing on my own so I don't sweat on your equipment anymore, thus restoring balance to your shallow and egotistical gym.

Sincerely,
J

P.S.
Ty and the Assassin are the only reasons I keep coming here. They are a beacon of hope in a dark, dark, place. I praise God for them and all the time they spend working out with me.