Stairway to Heaven...?

I have a special talent that I would like to brag about real quick to preface my blog for the evening. Whenever I go out and about, and no matter where I am at or who I am with, I always manage to get front row parking. I don't mean handicap parking, because that is illegal (even though I can write a whole blog about some of the "handicap" people that use those spaces). I'm not even talking about the maternity parking that some stores have as a courtesy to pregnant women (I tried to park there one time and try to pass off that I was pregnant. Didn't work.) I am talking about the space right next to the handicap spaces. Some stores even have spaces that are closer than the handicap ones, which I find weird and a bit mean, but nevertheless, I park there. We call it "Rock Star Parking." My kids love it. They think it is cool that I find these spaces when we go out. They get on to Pam because she can never get Rock Star Parking. She finally did the other day when I wasn't there, and it was a big deal. Pam called me to tell my of her triumphant victory. The kids bombarded me with the news when I got home.

So, the question for the evening is this, is it hypocritical to go to the gym and actually look for Rock Star parking? I am finding myself turning down the luxurious spot to park further away when I go to the gym. But I am afraid to anger the parking gods by turning down their bountiful blessing. I took them up on their offer today though. The parking lot was under repair and parking was a disaster, so to save time, and admittedly, walking distance, I parked in Rock Star parking. Full disclosure here people, full disclosure...

Anyway, Ty was tied up (a little play on words there, get it?) with someone, so I started my warmup with 10 minutes on the elliptical. It is getting easier, and I am finding my initial disdain for the torturous machine dwindling. It welcomes me with arms wide open every time I visit the gym. It's like one of those annoying older relatives that you can't really say how you are related too, but every time you see them, they pinch your cheeks real hard and mess with your hair and real annoy the mess out of you. You constantly complain after ever reunion about that relative and how weird they are and how the pinch hurts. Yet, when the time has come and they pass away, you miss them and remember how much they went on and on about how handsome you were. One day, I hope to have that sort of relationship with the elliptical. We're not there yet.

I finished up to find Ty still tied up (yeah, that doesn't get old), so I stretched a bit then went to the treadmill. I did 10 minutes on that. No big deal. I watched a story about how bad Japan still is. How soon we forget. They have boats, huge 120 ton boats, sitting in the middle of roads. They have so much garbage and debris they have no idea what to do with it. 25,000 dead. 10,000 still missing. Makes our problems seem pretty small.

I finished the treadmill and Ty was tied up (okay, it is old now) with dude, but he did mange to see me and told me to warm up. "Done," I said. So he got me set up on the old reliable kinesis machine. I had to do the lunge push exercise, the first one that ever did on this machine. As he was wrapping up with dude, I did three sets of 15. We usually do two. Moving on up. Dude finally left. He was a bit of a talker. Ty got me doing a new exercise he affectionately called the oil rig. It was a squat a pull down exercise. He told me if I hit oil to let him know. I thought I was going to oil my pants, but I managed. I even went up in weight after the first set. 3 set, then back to the old swing steps. I like these. You grab a hold of the band and hold it at your chest, then you step back and swing your body in the direction of the step. Works the abs, hurts in a good way. 3 sets. I set the bar, Ty won't let me go back now.

We then found my old friend the core ball. Situps. No resistance this time. Nothing but hard core sitting up. I did 3 sets of 30. I almost slid off the ball once. I know it will happen sooner or later. Prepare yourselves, it will be epic.

We then walked back over to the treadmill/elliptical machine area. Ty said, "I have a surprise for you." I began to worry. I don't like it when he says that. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw a machine I hadn't really noticed before. It was a miniature escalator. "Oh crap," I thought, "He's going to make me do a stair machine." We breezed by there. I thanked God and we kept walking. We walked by rowing machines. "Cool, that looks fun," I thought. Kept walking. Some stationary bikes were to our right. "Too easy, surely not that." Of course not. We got to the end of the gym and Ty opened a door marked "Stairs." He pulled a kettle weight out of an office. I was about to cry. I hate that thing. I tried to play it tough, though. "Kettle weight, huh? Let's do It." He said, "This is just to hold the door open." What? We got to the stairwell and he said, really enthusiastically I might add, "Alright! We're going to do 10 laps up and down the stairs!" First, no matter how enthusiastic you are, 10 trips up and down stairs never sound good. Secondly, whenever Ty says "We," he means me. Third, stairs suck.

I looked around this evil stairwell and noticed a couple of towels laying around. I assume people have died doing this same activity. I thought I would be the next. It would be easy to hide the evidence. Just roll their fat carcass down the stairs, out the door and hide them behind the garbage just outside the bottom stairwell door. Oh well. I have my cell phone. I'll dial 911 if I have too. Down the steps I went back up I came. 1. Tired already. Ty said that looked too easy so he brought me a 12 pound weight to lift up and down while I went up the stairs. The first one always looks easy. And what's with the weight? Down, left hand, Up, right hand. Who does this guy think he is, Mr. Miyagi? I did it. 2. Breathing hard. I can feel my heart beat in my chest, my arms, my head. I can hear it begging me to stop. Ty took the weight. Apparently, it was looking hard to do now. I went down again, then back up, 3. Ty said, "Keep it up, I'll be right back. Don't pass out!" Yes sinsai. Down, and up. Heart beating hard, but I don't think it wants me stop. I think it is saying thank you. It's excited. It's doing something it doesn't get to do. It is working hard. I think it likes it. Down and up. 5. Yeah heart, I hear you, but the lungs are yelling a little louder right now. Breath, in through nose, out through mouth. Down. Rest. Getting harder. Feet are siding with the lungs now. Might start a revolution soon. Ty hollers down, "How many?" "5...and a half? "Keep it up, you're doing great!" Up. 6. Down. The knees have been talking to the feet and lungs. Mutiny. The brain and heart say keep going. The arms are siding with them. The feet get ticked because they don't think the arms have in part in this. The arms remind the feet that they kept their mouth shut when we were on the kinesis machine. Arms can be so smart. Up. 7. The back is the swing vote. Whatever he says is going. "Back, how do you feel?" "3 more, we got it." Down. Up. Down. Up. Stop. Breath. Stretch. Everyone is on board now. Just one more. Down. Up. Victory.

I sat down at the top of the stairs, amazed. I didn't think I would make it. Ty asked me if I could walk. "Yeah, piece of cake." Mmmmmmmm...cake. No no no. We walked over and talked for a bit. He asked me if I wanted to weigh today or Thursday. Today man, right now. we went to go weigh, and the elevator was jumping up and down trying to flag me down and was yelling, "HEY! Haven't you had enough of those stairs yet?!?" Yes I have dear elevator, but down one more flight won't kill me. Will it? Anyways, I made it down and weighed. 457. Down 1 pound. I told Ty I would have loss more, but I blame it on the increased muscle mass from 10 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!!! Anyways, he didn't buy it, and rightfully so. I am really having a hard time with my eating habits. They are so bad. I am so tired of struggling with it. It is something I praying about, because I know it isn't something I can fix on my own. I am really trying to blog more. Time is a luxury this time of year. The end of school and the Crusade coming up downtown next week, in addition to the flooding and the havoc it has wreaked with placing our men and the increased use of our facilities, well, it's been busy. And tiring. I'll try to update more.